"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." -e.e. cummings

Man, how good is this quote. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I actually did this. There are so many things that I do (and even more so, don't do) because I'm afraid people will think I'm weird. I mean, I've taken Intro to Sociology, and I really do believe that we are all trying to act within these larger narratives, but I feel like mine is a tight-rope. I have no room to be creative and special, because my 'story' is so tight and I'm so afraid to fall.

What would my life look like if instead of a tight-rope I had a whole road? Better, I think. I'd smile at people walking who look sad, because I really love when people do that for me. (Side Note: I must look depressed a lot because this happens to me at least once a day.) I'd also like to wear whatever I want, sing out loud, and I'd like to stop pretending that I'm not passionate about stuff.

But why is this so hard? Is it because we judge people who break societal rules so harshly, that we're petrified of breaking them ourselves? But on the other hand, how is it that we can admire genius and creativity so much but give ourselves so little room to explore it in our own lives?

I've realized recently that I have a hard time with criticism. And the reason is because I don't know who I am yet. I base my identity on little snippets of comments that people make about me. But I can't try to figure out Madison until I give myself some ROOM.

So watch out. Room is about to be made. Overarching goal for next year: Stop being afraid.